in retrospect… [first of two parts]

Saturday, April 8, 2006

next week marks my supposedly second anniversary at PS. and weird enough, my desk is facing Philamlife Tower which is where lots of memories and friendships have been built over ciggies and cups of coffee. i can even see the very same spot where i used to take my early taho and yosi breaks from where i’m sitting and looking back, i started to realize that all that happened during the past two years was that i grew older but not even a bit wiser.

lets talk finances first. i have gone from newbie, to vet agent and, now [with a different company], to subject matter expert. my annual income has certainly increased over time. from regularization, to annual appraisals, to moving from one company to another, i am earning more than what i was getting when i started working back in 2004. ironically, though, it seems like i owe more money now than i did two years ago. i actually envy people who are getting an above minimum salary stipulated by the Department of Labor. i wonder how it’s possible for them to start a family, put kids to school and, somehow, still save up for a rainy day. i mean, how the hell do they do that?! does it have to do with the fact that i’m single and, somehow, still young to think of settling down? of does it have to do with the lifestyle that i’ve been accustomed to? i don’t know.

now, let’s talk politics. i may not know much about government politics but i know a great deal about manipulation, back-stabbing, and deception. high school and college equipped me with all the tools needed before to survive the real world. and just when i thought that i have everything, it seems as if i had nothing. it turns out that you need to have more than a couple of tricks up your sleeve in order to get out alive. i find it ironic that the very same people you trust are the very same poeple who will take you six feet under. and i started to realize that you can’t really trust anyone you meet in the urban jungle. people may seem meek as a lamb, but the truth is, they’re nothing more than wolves in sheep’s clothing. oh well, so much for survival.

 

 to be continued…

randomrants

Tuesday, April 4, 2006

if there’s one thing that gets me though the day, it would have to be ciay’s text messages (thanks to globe’s unlimitxt service… hehehe.. :p) they’re really nothing but forwarded messages but the thing is, they actually make sense. and i’d sometimes, i even like to see them as God’s means of communicating by means of technology.

I know, it doesn’t really sound like me to talk “God-speak” but the thing is, whenever i feel down, one way or another, i’m gonna receive a message which exactly expresses how i feel. they also tend to answer certain questions i tend to ask like a magic 8 ball coming out of no where. weird, huh?!

anyhoo.. i don’t know what it is but i’ve been watching a lot of romantic flicks recently. my weekend was filled with chick flicks like the cutting edge, you’ve got mail, the wedding singer and never been kissed. this is quite similar to the time that i was engrossed with old movies/musicals such as an affair to remember, all about eve, wizard of oz and the sound of music (well, to name a few). could it be my incessant need for drama that drove me? to be honest, i don’t know and i don’t really wanna know.

now let’s talk work! the multicultural study that we’ve been working on for over a month now just came to an end. [and] to be honest, i don’t think i’m ever gonna miss it. okay, maybe just a bit but i really couldn’t care any less. new projects are on their way and i simply can’t wait. but until then, all i gotta do is sit back, relax and enjoy listening to good music.

Three Libras

Friday, March 31, 2006

threw you the obvious and you flew 

with it on your back, a name in your recollection, 

thrown down among a million same.

difficult not to feel a little bit disappointed 

and passed over 

when i've looked right through 

to see you naked and oblivious 

and 

you don't see me.but i threw you the obvious 

just to see if there's more behind the eyes 

of a fallen angel, 

the eyes of a tragedy.

here i am expecting just a little bit 

too much from the wounded.

but i see through it all 

and see you.

so i threw you the obvious 

to see what occurs behind the eyes of a fallen angel, 

eyes of a tragedy. 

oh well. apparently nothing.

you don't see me. 

you don't see me at all. 

3Libras
A Perfect Circle

pwede mo ba ipaliwanag?!

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

wish ko lang talaga may magpaliwanag. lam mo yon?! bakit kinakailangan na halos every month na lang eh merong bagong issue. bakit kelangan

mag-asal high school, no.. i take that back.. it's more, like, asal grade school pala ang mga 20-30 something na mga tao. at higit sa lahat, bakit tuwing akala mo ok na, eh hindi pala.

as far as i know, kaya lang nagkakaproblema non kasi lumalaki ung grupo. shempre, pag may bago, kadalasan, may issue. anjan yung hindi pagkakasunduan kasi ung ugali nung isa hindi ka-jive nung ugali ng bagong salta. tapos yung bagong salta pa, nangangapa kasi ung mga matagal nang magkakasama, naka-buo na ng (so to speak) "alliance." hirap nga naman makisama kung feeling mo out of place ka tuwing naguusap sila. but as it turns out, hindi pala.

ang labo no?! ang tatanda na eh. kung magsumbungan naman, kala mo nagkadayaan habang naglalaro ng luksong tinik. yung mga away na tipong..

"sumayad ka eh.."

sagot naman nung isa

"hindi ah.."

tapos, biglang hihirit ng,

"sumbong kita kay teacher! (sabay sigaw ng)

"TEEEAAAAACCCCHHHHHEEEEEEEERRRRRR!!!!!"

lupit noh?!

bakit ganon?! paki paliwanag naman oh?! ang alam ko kasi kung meron mang dapat umasal o kumilos ng ganon, eh ako yon!! isipin mo, ako pinaka-bata. plus the fact na bunso ako (na mejo spoiled pa - mejo lang naman), wala na!! ako lang dapat ang nagiinarte at wala ng iba. ang masakit pa kasi don, ung mga nag-iinarte, lalake! yep.. LALAKE!! tanong mo siguro sakin, "sigurado ka bang lalake sila?!" oh well.. ayoko na sagutin yan. i've been asked that question too many times kaya bahala na lang kayo kung ano tingin nyo.

buhay nga naman noh?! napaka-ironic. if i could describe life in one word, yun na siguro yon, IRONIC. kasi nga naman, kung sino pa ung akala mong mature na magisip eh sha pa ung pasimuno. IRONY nga ba?! or should it be PARADOX?! whatever, ayoko na sha pagkaabalahan ng panahon. bottomline, mahirap mag assume. sabi nga nila - maraming nadadala sa maling akala!

sa totoo lang, di ko alam if i'm making any sense or not. tingin mo? di ko kasi talaga alam kung ano na talaga nangyayari eh. parang kasi saan ako lumingon, merong bagong problema.. bagong issue.. please naman oh.

wish ko lang talaga may magpaliwanag!!

zaturnnah.. ze musical

Wednesday, February 1, 2006

after a friend let me borrow his copy of carlo vergara's ZsaZsa Zaturnnah, i said to myself, i have got to get a copy (and i did!). and if you've already read it, you would definitely agree that it's nothing like your typical filipino comic.

first of all, the heroine is gay (so.. is it hero or heroine?!). his name is ada and he's a (do i dare say) "barrio lass" who owns a local parlor. the story starts with a huge (and i mean.. HUGE) rock with mystical powers falling from the sky. and after ada swallows (yes.. SWALLOWS) the rock, he turns into this super heroine named zsazsa zaturnnah and the rest is history.

the story's really, really funny (and witty at the same time) that you just have to share it with friends. i even brought to work last year and people were waiting in line just to get their hands on it. everyone was talking about it for over a week and my friends and i even discussed at one point that it would be really great if they turned it into a movie. we even had a cast prepared as to who should play who. and now, believe it or not, the Tanghalang Pilipino is actually turning it into a musical. Here's an article about it that i got from fabuloush.com. (more…)