Singles Awareness Day Preparation

Three days ’til  *ahem* *ahem*  SINGLES AWARENESS DAY and in preparation for one of the years most awaited hallmark holiday, I decided to post an email that i received five years ago from one of my college friends. It may have been half a decade ago but I still enjoy reading it every now and then up to this day. Hope you will, too.. 

Would you like to come with me? Maghahanap ako ng isang dimension where in on the 14th of Feb., is a HALLOWEEN NIGHT..ansaya diba? inform nyo ko if you wna come? If not, maybe you can find something useful from the following quips.

These are quick smart answers to the annoying question:
"HOW COME YOU DON’T HAVE A BOYFRIEND?"

1. The Arrogant Approach
"Boyfriend? I don’t date boys. I date men."

2. The "I love my independence" Approach (I might use this!)
"All men I date keep asking me to marry them and I’m just not ready to commit."

3. The Confident Approach
"I’m already engaged to someone. Only he doesn’t know it yet."

4. The "I’ve watched too many gangster movies Approach
"Why don’t I have a boyfriend? Why don’t you have a life? Haven’t you got anything better to do with your time than to ask me stupid questions? Now get
out of my face before I really lose my temper."

5. The Clueless Approach
"A boyfriend? Is that like a Girl Scout?" ( I actually use this! *lol*)

6. The "danger-lover" Approach
"I only like dating cold-blooded criminals and all the best ones are behind bars."

7. The Flirtatious Approach
"I don’t have a boyfriend because I’m saving myself for you."

8. The Wounded Approach
"Stare off sadly into the distance with teary eyes; feign a lump in your throat and say, "I did love someone once . . ."
(This will embarrass the questioner, who will then leave you alone.)

9. The Mysterious Approach
Lower your voice to whisper and say, "I’m romantically involved with a very important person and our relationship is top-secret. If I told you who he was, something terrible might happen to me."
(This will worry the questioner who will then leave you alone.)

10. The Lunatic Approach
Begin to laugh hysterically, stop suddenly and then stare directly at the questioner while saying nothing.
(This will frighten the questioner who will not only leave you alone, he or she will never speak to you again.)

****Beatitudes for Single People****
1. Blessed are the singles, for theirs alone is their income.
2. Blessed are those who are detached, they can go where they please, when they please.
3. Blessed are the non-couples, they shall inherit no one else’s problems but their own.
4. Blessed are the uncommitted, they have no phone calls to wait for.
5. Blessed are those who do not thirst for companionship, they do not have to share the remote.
6. Blessed are the purely unattached, for they will see what they want in the shops and go buy it without any thought as to whether their mate will approve of the purchase. In other words, they can indulge without guilt.
7. Blessed are those who are persecuted when valentine’s day rolls in, they do not need some stupid special day declared to remind them that they are happy in their present state.
8. Blessed are you when couples walk by arm in arm on a rainy day, you’re not getting wet, they are. (I mean, try squeezing two pe ople under a small umbrella!)