screwed up… mcBeal style

Thursday, September 13, 2007

As you probably already know, Ally is a Boston-based love-a-holic lawyer whose never-ending quest to find her soulmate has put her into situations which are far too complicated to explain. She fell in love with a rabbi, a slob, a minor, and a bisexual. Oh, not to mention the father and son that she dated - like i said, far too complicated to explain. 

 

Now, I don't know what it is about Ally McBeal but every time I watch the damn thing, I always fall into this deep depression that are just beyond words. And yet, I still can't seem to stop watching. Yes, I love torturing myself! But other than that, could it because I'm just as neurotic as her that I actually understand what she's going through? Or is it the songs?! I dunno.. What I do know is I can't get this song out of my head. It's called You and Me by Vonda Shepard which is actually part of the series soundtrack.. 

 

YOU AND ME
Vonda Shepard

Part of me wants to break the ice
And part of me wants to roll the dice
Exactly how it stands
Part of me wants to roll the dice
And part of me wants to leave them curled up in my hands

Where they will be safe and no one will know
How I really feel and I'll never be real
And I'll roll with the punches that I'll never feel
And I'll have a heart that no one can steal

[Chorus]

It's you and me and you're nowhere to be found
I'm rolling on the ground
It's me and you and I'm nowhere to be found

Part of me wants to break these chains
And part of me wants to keep them locked up tight
Part of me wants to stop these rains
And part of me wants them to fall all night

Fall on my head just to wake me up
Anything to drench my half-empty cup
And I'm sorry baby I've had enough
I'm tired of your promised tearing me up

[Repeat Chorus]

You will be safe and no one will know
How you really feel and you'll never be real
And you'll roll with the punches that you'll never feel
And you'll have a heart that I'll never steal

[Repeat Chorus]

middle-class morality

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

I've always admired people who are able to move on with their lives as if nothing ever happened. I'm actually one of those people… well, I used to. I was doing just great until middle-class morality screwed me up and introduced the concept of "having a conscience."

 

Funny thing is, I was never like this. Ask anyone who has known me for more than a year and they'll tell you outright that having regard for other's feelings - even a slight hint of it - has never been my strongest suit. Empathy, that I can manage. But actually "feeling" like any other creature that walked this earth was something that I was never accustomed to do.

 

Yes, I blame it on middle-class morality and George Bernard Shaw. I have always wanted to be Professor Higgins until I found my Eliza. I have never felt more vulnerable in my entire life that I would simply give in to anything or anyone. And having paved my way to self-destruction, all that is left to do is close my eyes and pray that I don't blow up.