forgiven, not forgotten

It was a tedious Tuesday morning with nothing to do but organize files, convert WMA files to mp3 and remove post-due reminders on my corkboard. And after doing all that, I was pretty much left with nothing else to do. And what's the best way to kill time - answer survey questions on Friendster.

So there i was, browsing through different surveys when I came across this questionnaire about ex's, partners, and crushes. And one of the questions was "What will you do if you caught your partner with someone else in bed?" For some weird reason, it suddenly reminded me of Drew Barrymore in Ever After saying these words to Anjelica Houston -

"I want you to know that I will forget you after this moment and never think of you again. But I am quite certain that you will think about me every single day for the rest of your life…" 

As far as "Danielle" is concerned, she was giving the baroness forgiveness. But the truth is, her act was done more out of spite rather than kindness. It actually seemed like the perfect way to end Cinderella's relationship with her evil step-mother but it got me thinking, is there truth in it? Is it really possible to forget those people who've wronged us and never think of them ever again? Or better yet, is it possible to forgive and forget?

Now, forgiving and forgetting are two distinct things. To forgive is to let go of resentment towards a certain offender. Forgetting, on the other hand, is to cease remembering or noticing. and to treating certain instances as if they never happened just doesn't seem right - first, because IT DID HAPPEN and there's absolutely no turning back; second, because these things happen for a reason; and third, we should consider these occurrences as life's way of teaching us how to live and, hopefully, survive. It's a matter of learning from experiences that we go through and making sure that we stand up after we fall and never stumble again. So, granting that it is POSSIBLE, should we forgive and forget?

I know I’ve had moments where I’ve bumped uglies with strangers, colleagues, and even good friends. And I don’t know about you but I never forget. Do I forgive? Yes, but I never forget because whether you like it or not, people are going to screw you over one way or another. And it’s through these experiences that we learn who to trust and believe. At the same time, it’s an opportunity to gauge and filter real people and real friends.

Am I bitter? Not really. I’ve probably just grown wiser. So, a few words from the wise: Forgive, but never forget! And most importantly, LEARN, and never be a fool again.